Fighting with Kindness

Everything Everywhere All At Once is my favourite movie of the year so far. This scene in particular hit me hard. I found myself thinking about it for weeks afterwards. I think I know why.

Dating at middle age is hard. You’re at a stage in your life where you have an established career, a home, maybe a few kids, and a lot of emotional baggage. That means all of your potential dates are carrying the same baggage. Life is both rewarding and incredibly difficult. So we have a choice to make. Do we let ourselves become more cynical and pessimistic? Or do we continue to work harder at improving ourselves and being kind to those around us?

Since I’ve started dating after my divorce I’ve been given the following feedback:

  • You need to grow a spine.
  • Learn to swing your dick around. (This one still makes me laugh)
  • You’re the nicest guy I’ve ever dated (said while being dumped) 😅

There are definitely situations where it’s advantageous to swing your dick around”. However, I’ve never been the typical type A”, Alpha male” personality and I never will be. It’s been a little shocking to me how often it’s sometimes used against me or seen as a negative. I’m happiest with a simple life. I’ve never been motivated by money or fancy job titles. Sometimes it’s a struggle to live authentically while making a living in a world that doesn’t seem to value it as much as you do.

August 14, 2022


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Sometimes it’s hard to know where the line is. The line where trying be positive crosses over to toxicity. I do think we’ve reached a point where